Masks.

Well. Here we are again. I'm officially into the second week of my training. And let me tell you, I'm feeling it. This past week was challenging for me. Here's how it impacted my body and here's how it impacted my mind/soul.

Physically: My body hurts! Not in like a "you're causing harm to yourself" type a way but more like a "you've been eating a lot of junk food on vacation and now you're asking me to do what?!" type of way. Woof. I have been running pretty consistently for many months so I didn't think it would be so hard. But it is. Here's what I did. Monday - run 3 miles. Tuesday - run 2 miles. Wednesday- run 3 miles. (although I got really hot and winded so I ran close to 2 and then walked/ran the last one) Thursday - day of rest. Friday - run 4 miles. I work full time on the weekends so Monday-Friday is my only chance to run and a rest day is important so I don't overdo it. So that was my schedule for the week and that's the schedule I plan on following each week as I add more mileage. I know my body is capable, well I know it will be, but right now it's totally rebelling against me. Another interesting (maybe?) physical part of this week is that I've been SO hungry. I guess it's because I'm exerting more energy than normal. But dang I cant stop snacking. I've been trying to eat carbs for energy before runs but I mostly consume large amount of protein as well as fruits/veggies. I cannot imagine my what my pangs of hunger will be like when I'm running double or triple the amount each week. Lord help my grocery budget. 

Emotionally: Who has two thumbs, was vulnerable with her last blog, and has been feeling an annoying amount of insecurity and self-doubt all week?... THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE!! Isn't it weird how that happens? I got a lot of positive feedback from my last post (thank you all) but ever since then I've just felt totally exposed and vulnerable. Not sure why. I had a lot of doubt this week. I felt super discouraged. Super fat. Super dumb for sharing the blog. And my stress levels seem to be surging. I guess it's never easy admitting your struggles. I've worn a mask of perfection for so many years and am working to take that off- but dang it's suctioned to my face pretty tightly. I don't want to be that way though. Everyone has junk in their trunk.  By pretending to have it all together, we send the message that everyone who doesn't must be doing something wrong. And that's not a message I would ever want to send. So this is me waving an crusty and uneven flag to say "I DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER!" As I have been running through these miles, I have been working through these emotions. It’s not the most pleasant thing in the world, but I see the value in the struggle. You have to go through it to get through it. This week for me, the "it' has been self-doubt and body aches... what's yours?

So what's the moral of the story this week? You can do more than you think but it may be hard. In fact, it probably will be if. And as it is with many things, most of the battle is in the mind. Set a goal and work towards it. Don't avoid the uncomfortable if it's helping you grow.  It's overwhelming to imagine this lasting so far into my future, but I have to continually remind myself that I'll get to where I need to be when I need to be there. I'm always telling the women I work with to "trust the process." And now it's my turn. 

Until next time my darlings. 

Comments

  1. Andrea GAugust 15, 2019 at 8:23 AM

    How do I sign up to be notified to when you blog? I want to be on that list!!

    ReplyDelete

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