It's Done

I did it. It’s done. On October 6^th I ran 13.1 miles in a row. On purpose.

Yes I realize it’s been close to 3 weeks since that day. But honestly it’s probably taken me that long to process everything. Plus my life has been pretty much non-stop since then. Thank you for your patience as I’ve been trying to get my life and my thoughts together.

The Thursday and Friday before the race I was FREAKING OUT! Like seriously. I was so nervous and feeling really negative about the whole thing. Feeling like there was no way I was going to be able to do it. And I was honestly dreading it. But, after talking with a coworker and spending some time journaling/praying about it – my attitude shifted. And I’m being honest here by saying that I realized that most of the turmoil I was conflicted by was because of pride. Say what?! I believe my insecurities were rearing their ugly head because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be “perfect” or be “the best” or complete it in a time that would make everyone think I’m great. Typing it out sounds ridiculous. But I realized it was true. And I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to allow the cheers or criticism of others to be the loudest voice in my mind and in my heart. I repented of that pride (repent = admit, surrender, and turn away from) and walked forward knowing that the only thing I needed to do was the best that I could – and that would be enough. Yes, I was still nervous about it, but I determined to be joyful! I worked so dang hard for this. I have put in the time and effort. I would not allow my fear or worry to steal my joy. This was exciting and I set it in my mind to not allow one more negative thought to take any space in my head. And that was so helpful. I say this so much (and honestly I may have even written about it on this blog – I’m just feeling too lazy to go back and check) but what we focus on dictates our lives. For the few days before that, I was focusing on my fear and doubts and insecurities – and honestly I was miserable. But once I decided to focus on my strength and ability and determination, my whole demeanor and attitude changed. So, I want to take a second to encourage you to evaluate what you’re focusing on in your life. If all you’re holding onto is what you can’t do, why something wont work, how unfair something is – then it’s all you’re going to see. And it’s going to impact how you move forward (or maybe even keep you from any forward movement). I know it’s hard and sometimes feels nearly impossible, but maybe try to shift your thinking towards the positive and see how that changes the way you experience the world.

I woke up at 3 am on race day! I was planning on sleeping until about 4:30 but sadly that didn’t happen. I was hyped. And nervous. I made my way to the race and followed the masses to holding area. For some reason we were supposed to be there by 6 and the race didn’t start until 7:30. So people were just standing around stretching and chatting. Talk about nervous jitters. I met a hand full of coworkers who were running as well and we all just sat there trying to wrap our heads around what we were about to do. At 7:20 we walked over to the starting line and got ready to run. My sweet granny was there at the starting line to jump with me and hug me and wish me luck. It was so precious and just exactly the last push of energy I needed to start. At 7:30 the race began, and we were off!

 In my mind I was going to run it on my own, but I was so happy that I ended up running with people the whole time. A group of 4 of us were together for a lot of the race but I ran with a friend (also named Melissa) the entire race. It was such a pleasant surprise running with her. She was such an encouragement to me. We mostly didn’t interact but having her by my side was awesome. I am so thankful for that.

13 miles is a long way to go and here are some highlights from it:

·         *I think it was around mile 4 or 5 when we saw a man fall right in front of us. He hit his head on the ground and starting yelling in pain and then blood started pouring from his face. I didn’t know what to do. Luckily there was a lot of other people stopping to help him and calling for the medics, but I felt so bad for him. And it totally freaked me out. I still think about him sometimes. What a bummer to work so hard and then fall like that. I hope he is ok and that he get’s an awesome comeback story one day.

·        * Mile 7 or 8 my stomach started gurgling and I thought for sure I was going to puke. But I hoped it would pass and just kept pushing forward. Luckily I was right. No puke for me.

·        * I had the greatest surprise mile 9 when one of my dearest friends was standing on the side of the road with her sweet boys to cheer me on. Chrissy, and her little loves Rhett and Finn, drove 3 hours on Sunday morning to scream for me a total of about 10 seconds as I passed, and then had to drive another 3 hours back home. Talk about friendship. Seeing them gave me a jolt of energy and I will be forever grateful to her for being there.

·        *Essentially all of mile 10 was a hill. It wasn’t super steep, but it was a steady incline the whole way and I wanted to quit. And cry. Especially since 10 miles was the farthest I had ever run before. I was pushing my body harder than ever. And I felt it.

·         *The last 3 miles are honestly a blur. I was exhausted. The hill took it out of me. The distance drained me. And my body was starting to get extremely fatigued.

And then came the last mile. Mile 13. I’m telling you it was the most challenging mile of my life. I was so tired. I was overcome by my emotions. Especially when I turned the corner and saw the finish line way at the end of the road. I was so overwhelmed. And as I approached the finish line I looked to my left and saw my entire family. Mom. Dad. Alison. Jeff. Tristan. Elizabeth. Drake. All standing there, holding up signs, and screaming for me to keep going. Talk about emotional. Even now as I’m typing this it’s making me tear up to remember. They were all jumping and yelling and telling me to finish strong. And I did.

2 hours and 18 minutes after crossing the starting line, I ran through to complete the ½ marathon. Dang. Talk about crazy.

A few minutes later my family came running towards me. I’ve never seen so much love. They were beaming at me. They all wanted to hug me, and I felt bad because I was a smelly sweaty mess. But they didn’t care. Having them there at the end was overwhelming. A few minutes later my – family by choice not by blood – came and found me. Hannah. Evan. Addyson. Hudson, and Elon came up to celebrate with me. They were apparently by the finish line as well, but I didn’t see them as I ran. But it was amazing to have them there with me too.

We all walked over to the snack area and I sat down on the ground. They all formed a circle around me and were looking down on me with such love. Which led to my breakdown. Lol. I was overcome with emotion and began to sob. And hysterically laugh. But I had no tears to cry so my body was just shaking, and I couldn’t get control of myself. My dad stood right behind me so I could lean my back against his leg (which I soaked with sweat by the way). All of them surrounding me and supporting me and loving me was such a picture of who they have been in my life. I couldn’t function. Haha it’s funny to think about now but at the time I was a giant mush ball of exhaustion and love.

And then we left. Just like that it was done. As I walked back to my car I was a blubbering, tearless, mess. Did that really just happen? I didn’t know what to do or think or feel. I just knew I had to put one foot in front of the other to get me back to my car. Where I sobbed (again, with no tears) the entire way home. I was so tired. So happy. So proud. So thankful that I did it and SO THANKFUL that it was over.

Before I write another sentence more I just want to say thank you to all the people who have supported me. I had 16 people there on the actual race day, but I have countless others who have been with me through it all. I had so many phone calls, texts, and well wishes. So many people have cheered me on and I want you to know how appreciated it all has been. I don’t feel deserving of that kind of love. But I am thankful.

A few more random bits of information:

·        * I was SO SORE after the race. The rest of Sunday and Monday were terrible! I couldn’t hardly move!! But each day after that got better and I’d say I was back to normal after about 5 days. Which wasn’t too bad all things considered.

·        *I have ran one time since that day. And only 1 mile. Honestly I just haven’t wanted to. And I don’t even feel a little bad about it.

·       *  I don’t think I’m interested in doing that again! It was intense. I did sign up for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. That’s 4 or 5 miles though which seems like a much better idea than 13.

So I think that about wraps it up. I’m not adding pictures here because they are all on my Facebook page. If you found this link then you can see those pictures. So go check them out if you want to see a sweaty and happy Melissa.

Also, I feel like now seems the appropriate time to add that it’s been a year since I started this whole fitness thing. I have lost 70 pounds. I went from not being able to run 1 minute, to running 13 miles. Everything has changed.

You can do more than you think. Set big goals. Work hard. Surround yourself with people that build you up. Look for the good. Read the Bible. Say no to drugs. And run.