Time

Time.

It's what I need. It's what I'm out of. It's what I'm racing against.

I will be graduating in 17 days. That's not enough time. To get all my homework done. To cherish the moments with my friends. To learn what it means to be a servant leader from my professors. To pour into the lives of those around me. It's just not enough.

I do not know what I will be doing in 17 days' time. Where will I work? What will I do? How will I love? Who will I be? It's a weird feeling. This place that I have called home for the past 4 years of my life is only a few clock tics away from being over. This place where I have learned of God's goodness; this place where I have formed friendships from the heart of God; this place where I have been changed and formed and pushed to be more like Jesus. It's time for me to leave here. I cannot adequately express the thankfulness of my heart to this place and these people. I am ready to be done with the homework, the tests, and the drama. But I am NOT ready to be done with the laughter, the spiritual challenges, and the friendships. I am not ready to leave these people behind as time keeps pushing me forward. I need more time.

The thing is, despite all my feelings of self doubt and uncertainty, it is time for me to move on. It's time for me to apply what I've learned. It's time for me to be a grown up. It's time for me to see who I really am; to see if I can do it outside of this safety net we like to call LCU. Can I do it? Will I fail?

All I know for sure is that God is good. Honestly, there is not much else about my future that I know. Nothing else that I am fully confident in - not my capabilities, not my strength or knowledge, not my desire to do good. The ONE thing I know is that God is working and moving in my life. He is enough for me. He has to be. He is outside of time. The very thing that is holding me captive is the thing that He is using to make me more like Him. I am limited - He is not. I am weak - He is not. I am fearful and uncertain - He. Is. Not. I'm on the winning side. I know how this all ends. He wins. And time will tell.

We are all moving ahead, at a rate of 60 minutes an hour. There is no getting out of it. So, I am trusting in the One who lives and moves and works outside of time. He will lead me. He will love me. He has stolen my heart.

It's time to move.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
 - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 -



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